I wanna help and be involved more!

Im new in spiritual journey however i been watching videos practically all day almost a year now i cant seem to get enough. i feel strongly im meant to do more but im having trouble meditating and ive not had any type of sign or connection yet however everything i see and hear in hundreds of videos resonates with me and make perfect since. im disabled right now and spend my days in my apartment watching videos all day trying to learn more like i say i cant seem to wait on getting up the next day and begin again. however i have no money to explore sessions. when i watch these videos its like i already knew the information and its just coming back to me its kinda amazing. since i been following the advice and teachings my life has changed and im thrilled to know im part of the awaking it all makes perfect since however i feel im missing something because im isolated here but i wanna do more know more and the best i can do is post on facebook quotes i feel might resonate with someone and recruit people on the awaking. i keep thinking ill get connection or sign when they think i  ready so i continue to educate myself everyday follow the teachings and it feels so spot on! so i know im warrior in this awaking. do they hear me when im talking to them?  in my mind or aloud? i havnt found anyone like minded yet so far people dont take me too serious. im ready for more. thank yoiu for your time and any advice would be appreiated. Davey Bowler