Help! I am being such a Cow!!

Generally up to now I have being riding the wave of awakening and dealing with the emotional ups and downs by being kind and kind to myself. But this week!! Well it's like I have stepped back into the little insecure self I inhabited more than 20y years ago. I have just started a new contract of work and I have found myself; sucking up to my Boss, undermining my colleagues. using sexist humour to try and ingratiate myself with my female colleagues. This is an old version of me. Help!! What is going on??? Feeling that I am constantly showing up as a version of me that I despise.