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Generally up to now I have being riding the wave of awakening and dealing with the emotional ups and downs by being kind and kind to myself. But this week!! Well it's like I have stepped back into the little insecure self I inhabited more than 20y years ago. I have just started a new contract of work and I have found myself; sucking up to my Boss, undermining my colleagues. using sexist humour to try and ingratiate myself with my female colleagues. This is an old version of me. Help!! What is going on??? Feeling that I am constantly showing up as a version of me that I despise.
@gillianwren Hi gillian, I know that we are going through ascension symptoms and everything is coming up to be healed and transformed so you might be feeling a lot of stuff that you thought you had overcome or that was behind you. It probably just means you have to take another, closer look at those things and finish them off, I'm not sure about you but for me, I'm feeling shit from 20 years ago as if it was yesterday. All the intense feelings or random things that I have done or that was done to me that might have caused pain of some sort is like right there in my face now. I'm trying to observe it and not fall into it as if it's me now, or happening now but it's hard because my feelings about those things feel so strong and I have fallen in and out of it over the past several months. Feeling like I'm gonna die, then getting some clarity and realizing what is actually going on. Hard to digest it all sometimes. Starseeds are going through some major transformations and the things that hold space in our energy bodies that need to be replaced by light are being made known to you. So I'd say don't resist it or beat yourself up in anyway. Look at it, think about what you learned, accept that it was a part of you and served a purpose and lovingly let it go. It is not who you are now. But it was a part of you that deserves attention and acceptance and forgiveness. Funny I'm saying all this I've been working on this shit a lot lately and EA talks about this stuff a lot in her videos. I bought a couple GFL bundles and they are so helpful too. I mean just the first 3 from 2020 helped me so much today in 2023. It helps to have validation of what were going through and clarity on what's really happening. Hard to forget about though because it feels so real and present. I am having a very difficult time distancing myself from the version of myself that no longer serves me anymore and not identifying fully with it anymore. I thought I had gotten past and healed so much already too, and then shit comes up that I never even thought about. I'm trying to find some self worth again so it's hard man to feel that shit and I want to resist it and fight it and I think negatively about who I was and beat myself up, but that is making it soooo much worse. Love and acceptance is key and giving it some attention, not falling into it, but attention, compassion, understanding.