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I'm just feeling really lost and discouraged. Not really sure where to even begin. I know I volunteered for this mission, and am having major regrets about it - my soul has been fractured while on this earthly mission. My higher self is of no help and shows no empathy towards what I'm feeling here and now. It laughs at me, shows me how trivial this life i am in is, and is a total prude when I ask specific questions. It's not that I hate myself, but it feels like my higher self really doesn't like who I am in this incarnation.
My exhaustion is UNREAL. I've always felt tired, like I struggle to stay awake, always desiring to sleep. Idk if it's my ADHD or what. I do take ADHD meds now and am very grateful for it. I just want to feel normal, but I never do. I've masked all my life to fit in with society, to do what is expected of me...it is so exhausting. Now I'm finding that my children - son especially - are having a hard time conforming to the mold, even at a Waldorf school! And I just hurt for them because I chose to bring them into this world, and now feel really selfish for my decision to do so because had I known what I do now about ADHD specifically, I'd have chosen not to pass it on.
Sometimes, and I hate to say this, but I wish I were still asleep because then I'd only have 1/4 of the amount of unanswered questions and level of angst I have now. I'm sorry this post is a total downer...most days are better than this.
@beeejane Take it easy on yourself. Step back and take a look as a whole. Be proactive in manifesting what you want. You are not alone in this journey.🥰✨🙏 Sending extra love and healing vibes❤️✨
@beeejane Hope this will enlighten you, it explains our mission right here and right now. Sending you love ❤
"A gathering of the tribe"
@lighthealer_arkie thank you ❤️. Hopefully a gathering in Las Vegas will be monumental.
@beeejane Ascension Symptoms. This site helped me through my dark night of the soul, which it sounds you are just now starting on... https://energeticsynthesis.com/library/science-of-ascension/2920-ascension-stages
@beeejane You’re higher self sounds like an asshole, I’m sorry to say 😕. Is that possible? I have never heard my higher self so I don’t know but I thought they were supposed to be wise, loving, supportive? That’s so strange for me to hear. I mean, who are you supposed to turn to when your own higher self is laughing at you? I could totally understand why that would make you feel worse!!
Other than that, I am feeling just like you’re describing plus more. Pretty awful actually. So I understand. I feel discouraged and lost as well. I feel like the answers I seek I am not getting.
@222 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling worse than I was the day I made this post. Being down in the dumps is a terrible place to be - I trust you're not there for long. Constantly reminding myself to take things one day at-a-time, or even more granulated than that, has helped me through the years. The dam slowly fills up again and the water pours over and floods the valley below...the certainty of ebb and flow is always there as a comfort.
The YouTube's, suggested readings, and thoughtful comments from other community members here has been very helpful indeed. Knowing there are others who we can trust, and holding space for one another is so powerful and important.
My higher self deserves more credit than I give. I was just feeling frustrated that day and who better to take it out on than myself? I've only ever formally connected with my higher self twice, and the first time was full of mind expanding information which was freely given. The second time however, when asking specific questions, I was only given pieces of information. I'd like to think that I'm always conversing with my higher self because my inner dialogue just won't quit. Whether or not that's actually true I don't know. I guess it's time for me to work on that relationship 🤔
Much love to you 💜🧚♀️
@222 I also realized that either I'm asking the wrong questions, or I've not made my questions specific enough...something to think about 😊
@beeejane Ok, well that makes more sense that you’ve only connected twice with your higher self. It could just be the impression you got or like you said, maybe it was the type of questions asked. Either way, glad you are connected and seeking guidance and trusting it. Yes, one day, one hour, one minute at a time is definitely what I do. There’s just so much I’m questioning lately and I don’t like it. Especially when I ask to connect with my spirit guides or star families and it feels like I’m not getting anything, or maybe not noticing it. Much love to you.
@beeejane You’re higher self sounds like an asshole, I’m sorry to say 😕. Is that possible? I have never heard my higher self so I don’t know but I thought they were supposed to be wise, loving, supportive?
Your higher self is all knowing and all loving, the issue is us telling it to help us in ways that actually end up harming us.
That's why it's so important to develop a positive attitude before a strong manifestation power, because the universe will give you what you want, but if you hate yourself deep down, what you will want is going to suck.
@beeejane I too feel lost but not discouraged. We all have purpose. Had it not been for events in my life that were hair-raising I may have gone down a different path. I always felt/feel protected. One event was when I was walking downtown and I asked God for help understanding something. As I was walking, there were two women walking toward me in conversation. Just before I passed by the two women, I was askng my question to Creator. As I passed by the ladies. Creator spoke through them and gave me my concrete answer. One of many instances that can be attributed to God. Moving 40+ years ahead, (I'm 60 now) after raising 4 children, becoming disabled with Arachnoiditis, I'm finding it hard to connect with anything. I know I haven't been abandoned but I can't help but wonder why I can't focus anymore. Did bad juju attach and has kept me blindfolded. I don't know. So until I can get help clearing out, I'll continue to raise and direct my energy for the betterment. I may not reach the level I was destied for but I'll continue to pray just the same because I believe in the power of prayer. Be patient @beejane, we're being heard. Love and Light to all.
You have no reason to be sorry.i have faith this will pass. You are a beacon of light.im sending you and everyone lots of love and light.my higher self enlil said any of you can call on him for extra guidance and support