Awakening to awareness

Yesterday I had one of those days where I was reminded that everything happens for a reason. I’ve been practicing my ability to seize the opportunities for progressing through my repeated patterns as they come to me. As with others times of out-of-my-control situations, I was dealt an unforeseen road block I saw the opportunity to “remain receptive” to others when I have strong emotions when I showed up at the lab for my son’s blood draw, and the office no longer had the orders. This has happened before so I had called the day before to make sure. I was aggravated. The lady at the desk was really good at her job and kept neutral amongst my frustration. Since it was a fasting lab, it was early and the doctor’s office was closed. I decided to drive to the library and print the orders myself. Well the library was also closed. I waited for the office to open and called and asked, again, for them to fax the orders, in which the answer was yes. So we drove back to the lab, and they still didn’t have the orders. So I asked if I could e-mail them, and was able to download all 12 orders, send them, but that was still a no go. So I said, “Well, I suppose today is not the day” when she said she had just received the fax. This whole time I am really trying to stay neutral and consciously not project my angst on anyone and walked away from the blood draw thinking: Wow, Jenna. There’s improvement to how you handled that frustrating situation (aka not blowing up). 

As I step into being in control of the character I am playing, I am reminded of how hard my spirit guides work at setting me up perfectly for another opportunity to rise above polarity and remain in control of my heated emotions. 

I take my son to school and head over to the laundromat. I carry my loads in, pile them in a cart, and look for an open washer. It’s free laundry day so the place is packed. I am standing next to the window loading the machine, when I hear this person going off talking mad shit about someone to another person: airing dirty laundry. Then I realize that the person is slandering me! A few weeks ago, I was wiping the hair out of the machine before I used it when said person, whom I do not know nor did I see coming, plowed into my behind with their laundry basket knocking me over and twisting my finger in the metal hole where the door locks in and cut my finger and if I were one degree this way or that way, I might have lost another fingertip, so I came up swinging with my words because I already know what it’s like to lose part of a finger. She didn’t care and told me it was my fault that I had my big butt in the way. Mr. Laundry attendant came to my rescue and reminded me that some people will never get it as I was threatening to call the police for assault. Yes, I said in my head, I know to walk away from crazy and run if necessary. “Practicing full surrender” (EA).

As I am hearing her tell another person her version of that day, I begin shaking and getting heated, but I decided this is another opportunity to do better. I decide maybe what I need to do is nothing at all. That I need to trust that no matter how many lifetimes it takes, karma will ripple back to her for her current lies and previous brute force, so I keep loading my machine and decide not to engage. This is my chance to walk away from a situation that I so want to clear my name in. Then…..before I even get one load in, she starts talking smack about my son who I had brought once before to free laundry because he had had too many seizures to go to school that day saying how I must’ve been bitch slapped when I was pregnant for him to come out like that. Whatever that means! With Mama Bear unleashed, I fricking stood in my power and hushed another court room of judgemental bystanders, including the bully. “Are you talking about me? I think you are and you can say it to my face. My son has a genetic disorder that causes seizures and what you just said is so rude! I don’t even know you. I am the person who you almost twisted the finger off of and if I make this whole room uncomfortable by saying something, so be it. What you said was extremely rude and hurtful and I won’t stand by and take it!”