Spiritual Emergency: Seeking Advice and Support

Hi everyone. If you are sensitive to scary material, especially of a psychic nature and want to avoid these kinds of topics, please do not read further. This is a TRIGGER WARNING to not read further. 

I will explain the events in order I suppose. As a clarification before reading, I am 23 years old and have had no other history of memory loss or brain damage or anything otherwise to my knowledge that  would cause this. 

First I was in the bathroom and I glanced at my reflection in the mirror while washing my hands and I noticed a concerning expression in my eyes, which i can only describe as creepy. It was not my expression and it did not feel like me. I tried to shake it off, sometimes i get weird spirits but if i ignore them like always they quickly go away. This one was different and strange and felt just more concerning than usual however. It felt predatory and alien and i dont know... I then heard a feminine voice, one that seemed to carry light and positivity. She seemed serious and concerned about something, and like she was deciding to do something. I honestly dont trust any voice i hear however, because of past experiences and the convoluted information about anything spiritual that I have read or heard about at least. I don't know what to trust in any way, at all, and I try to just keep out of it now. I believe in Spirit but i do not take joy in trying to discern what voices are the truly positive or helpful one or the ones with ill intent. I have been tricked too many times and i am tired to say the least of trying to figure it out. 

So then, I went to walk downstairs and I began to experience some kind of extreme memory loss. This has never happened to me before but what I felt was exactly what I read about someone's experience with being a walk-in soul. I will describe it. I apologize if I am blunt and to the point in my words but I am feeling numb and I am just trying to stay calm and breath and not trigger myself too much about the topic, as it happened just a few hours ago. 

So I reached the bottom of the stairs and very much all of a sudden, I experienced extreme memory loss. I was still walking, turning the corner around the banister and my dog was there, excited to see me, but when I say I was experiencing extreme memory loss please understand that I am not exaggerating. I felt like a baby experiencing the world again. Everything felt bright and fresh and new, like there was everything to explore but I had no recognition or established understanding of my world around me or the people in it. It was like I was experiencing a new world for the first time as a baby. I don't know how else to say it. 

I saw my dog, and she made me laugh and I felt excited by her because she was happy and wagging her tail and jumping up and down to greet me. But I didn't know her name or what she even was, I think.

I began to walk to the dining room where my family was currently sitting down and eating dinner, and as I was walking I couldn't really recognize anything, voices or sounds, words didnt seem to register much meaning. Loud sounds especially, scared me and made me jump. I never react like that to loud noises or things like horror movies or any genre that would be considered scary. I am barely perturbed if I find myself watching a movie like that so that was very unusual as well.

It felt kind of like an absent minded walk. I don't know what else to say or how to describe it. Just unknowing, unfamiliar. I was walking to the dining table but I don't think I knew why, not consciously. 

And as I sat down, I did not recognize the family members that sat next to me and across the table. They were eating and talking. It didn't scare me, though. I was just clueless and these were new faces to me. I was looking around curiously though, I think with a grin on my face. 

Again, if you are sensitive to scary material, especially of a psychic nature and want to avoid these kinds of topics, please do not read further. This is a TRIGGER WARNING to not read further. 

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Hope that was enough spaces. I apologize if it wasn't.

Then, the voices of my family members began to, to put it simply, disturb me. I can for certain tell you that I am a strong empath and I experience all the other claires as well. When I heard the voices of my family members, there was what I can best describe as an edge filtering into their tone of voice that suddenly jolted me into recognizition and memories started to flood back, but it was not my family members souls that I felt I recognized. All the time, i am able to sense immediately what they are feeling when i am around them, and these people did not feel like my family. They felt foreign and strange and unkind. I don't know what they were but i just suddenly felt a very pervasive and unfriendly, to put it mildly, presence at the table. I guess to be frank, it was very nasty and sadistic in nature. As I say that, I suddenly become very detached and unemotional to the point of not being affected at all because this material is, that in particular, is hard to simply put into text. 

When I was jolted by whatever this negative things were in my family members, their voices, just the energy i felt was being carried through there voices... It was like they were possessed or unconsciously and without their permission forcibly channeling a group of unkind entities or whatever they were. They were not positive. 

The energy coming through my family members voices was very negative and tried to scare or manipulate or control me and seemed to be targeting me and my thought specifically. I could hear their thoughts coming through my family's words spoken aloud overlapping, and their intentions. At some point, when I looked at my mother, her eyes were not her own. There was something very dark and unkind in them that is all j will say to describe it, and when I looked at their eyes with my own, it was like this thing in my mother took it as a challenge and then spoke telepathically to me. They threatened to kill her. 

I became verbally aggressive myself, in part because of the intrusion of my family members and also in part it felt like I was not in control of my self to some extent. I said something and now my whole family thinks I am crazy, from their perspective.

They were possessed or something and now I am being viewed as ducking crazy. 

Whatever happened has seemed to have dissipated, at least for the most part. I keep repeating to myself it is not real it is not real. It has mostly worked. I am suppressing the memory or the emotions for the most part. I don't want to deal with this. 0

It feels horrible. I feel like a crazy psycho freak but thats the least of my concerns because I don't know what to do. What do I do in a situation like this? 

Before all of this happened, before I went into the restroom and glanced in the mirror, I kept getting the words like, From Orion, They're Orion Captives, and from the feel of that voice it didn't feel like it was the positive kind of captives. Something about a past life history? I hear all kinds of nonsense like this that i typically ignore, but this time, and I dont even know why i did it, i never meditate anymore. However, I decided to try to meditate and it was something about my higher form of consciousness in a forest path going through very tall pine or spruce like trees and reaching some sort of cottage or lodge or cabin, and talking to someone I knew, like a soulmate or something I dont know and then something about me while I was talking to them, something very heavy with so so so much grief and anger and fear surrounding Orion and .. I don't know. The very second I observed this higher form of my consciousness touch this person's arm, I felt the grief and then it was like It triggered the memories I had from back then and I heard my form saying hundreds of thousands, something about an army and some impression of my family, the word slaughtered, and the thought of so many others who shared the same fate from that past life and that was all I could glean from the conversation. This higher form of consciousness of mine did everything, I didn't want to interfere and just let myself sit and be the observer because it seemed to be guided by a spirit guide (I hoped?) But when i caught a glimpse of a vision of my hand closing around this soulmate persons wrist and then just at the very second of touch I instantly felt like I knew them. I knew them and they were familiar and i held them very close to my heart, more than I could possibly speak in words.

It was wonderful, despite the brief but still very grim memories recounted. I felt like spirituality was safe to explore again, i fslt like i rememberd what love and connection and soul tribe felt like again, and I wanted to start over new with it and then I go out of the bathroom after that goddamned downright sadistic stare that was not my stare coming from my own eyes in the mirror and I walk downstairs and start having a walk-in?? Or I am losing my memories like I am experiencing life as a baby would again and then the dinner table. It felt like rainbows and sunshine and then a tower falling and a thunderstorm, so fast. It changed so fast.

I really cannot take spirituality anymore. I am so truly exhausted by it. I can't remember what the light or love felt like. I feel empty and hollow day by day and I just want to rest. 

My mother is paranoid that I have been taking LSD or something. I have never even smoked a vape in my life. My siblings have avoided me and so has my father. 

I have been crying the past three hours trying to calm down from my family's reactions after they seemed to snap out of whatever energy was in them and of course everything else. I don't want yo put it into words because it does not make me feel safe. Even saying that does not .make me feel safe but I feel like I have lived with this feeling since I practically had my first dark night of the soul so I am just used to it by now. I hate it but what can I do.

Cam anyone offer any advice or support at this time? 

Thank you very much for reading all of this and I hope you are well.