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My thinking has had or does still have tendencies to be catastrophic. I am still growing out of that, and I feel I am doing a great job of that aspect of my thinking currently. But months later after this first you-tube video that started my awakening, this idea struck me. I was 15, my thoughts were most likely based on incomplete information, and what I assume was hormonal changes, caused me to react to my thoughts in a highly emotionally charged way. That's just my guess. I suddenly had the though that, what if my fear and slight worry surrounding negative aliens, through the Law of Attraction (that I was just learning about) would cause those fears to come into my life? Then as I started to worry about that, I was worried that my worry and focusing on the fear of negative aliens would cause this manifestation to occur even more. So it was like a viscious cycle in my thinking. For seven months, no exaggeration, I did not know how to get out of this viscious cycle.
So, I was lying in bed about to go to sleep, and after thinking that thought and spiraling into the subsequent one, I became afraid, and as I was continuing to build up my anxiety, something at the base of my spine started humming, intensely. It seemed to be a ball of energy spinning right where my root chakra was. I have no idea if it was the root chakra that was humming/spinning, but it very well could have been. At this moment though, I genuinely thought some sort of negative entity had activated something within my energy body/field and was sapping my life force or something. So naturally, I freaked out even more, and this ball of energy would just not stop humming/spinning for at least a week. When this ball at the base of my spine activated, I could feel that it was actually causing my body to vibrate physically and the humming/spinning of this thing was so much that it actually kept shaking me awake, so I could not sleep very well at all.
However, it seemed to me, much later on, when it would activate just by my thinking of it, that this sphere was energizing my thoughts or emotions in a way, either into something positive or neutral, so that I would stop being as afraid. This could be speculation on my part though, because the memory is somewhat faded. I remember clearly though feeling physically weakened by it, as in I couldn’t muster an appetite, I was feeling very light in my body, and I constantly felt that I was very ungrounded, light and airy. Remembering these symptoms now, it must have been that this ball of energy was obviously high vibratory.
I cannot say for sure what purpose it was serving me, or why it was activated at that moment, just that is seemed to be available to me during times of high stress. There also seemed to be moments when I could turn it off just out of the power of my will, but it would turn back on the next moment, because my next thought, being self-sabotaging as they were, was to turn it back on again against my desires. I have never found a logical explanation for this that wouldn’t be considered spiritual. I have read of articles where people describe that when Kundalini energy activates, it starts as a sudden surge of energy at the base of the spine, but this isn’t exactly what I experienced, as it was a spherical ball that stayed in place at the base of my spine, rather than surging upward, assumedly to go through each chakra. Maybe the energy was Kundalini, but it was stuck at the root chakra?
So even though I had this ball of energy to seemingly help me out, it eventually stopped humming and I forgot about it. Because of how ungrounded I was feeling, it was much more of a hindrance than a help, and I really really just wanted it to stop, even though I eventually figured out it wasn’t a negative entity that was causing it.
Fast forward maybe around February of 2017, and my freaking out was slowly escalating over time with the same cycle of thinking that my worrying and fear surrounding negative aliens would cause them to attack me or something like that just by picking up the energy possibly of my worry/fear about them. I began to constantly seek the outdoors, for hope that the earth would spontaneously heal my confusion. Simply said, I began to always be waiting for something to ‘save me’ and literally rearrange the thoughts in my mind so I’d stop being afraid and stop thinking like I did... Something that'd give me a way out of that thinking, anything.
I began to also constantly try to connect with my spiritual guides or other beings like positive extraterrestrials, I suppose I could say that, for hope that they would heal my mind. Eventually and just maybe, something must have noticed that I was having a major freak out. I don’t know how they would have been able to pick me out, maybe from the vibrations I was emitting, but later on you will see that the negative side of things definitely noticed me somehow as well.
On my way home from school, and I think that this was the moment I realized that if a higher-dimensional being of some sort really had contacted you, you would know it. There would be no doubt in your mind that you had received telepathic contact. It was just that clear when it did happen. At least in my experience that is how it is/was.
When I got home, I heard a male voice clearly in my head. Maybe it was because they were connected to my own state of mind, but they sounded sad and sympathetic. They said something along the lines of, “You have been through enough. We’re going to do a walk-in.” I know for certain that whatever was trying to connect with me wanted me to know about this idea of a walk-in, because even though I had heard of it before, I never could have possibly imagined that this was the idea that would come through from them. I feel that it in terms of the common verbiage used, maybe it is likely that there was not enough of the sifting of my thoughts in that moment, and my consciousness attached to certain phrases just to put together the message that was coming through and my mind generated this thought. Maybe whatever being that was connecting me with could see the language that I was used to using, too, and could see the thoughts forming in my head from expectation of what I thought they were going to say and used that to their advantage in communicating with me, and that was really their actual message. I do not really know.
What I do not doubt about this, however, is that there was a certain energy I was feeling. I could sense another consciousness coming through before it did. So, moving on, and I don’t know how this happened, but I somehow figured out how to proceed with this supposed walk-in (In my mind, at the time at least this was how I was perceiving what I was 'supposed' to do). By the guidance of the voice I was hearing and what they were pointing out to me, I began to notice this suction of my vision field in front of my eyes, like reality was pulling away at the seams... It is almost like a magnetic pull when I interacted with it, and I still see this occurrence today, and the magnetic feeling at the base of my skull. So, when I interacted with it, I promptly began to have a seizure.
I will firstly describe something about this seizure, and maybe I should call it a convulsion rather. I was fully conscious for it and it was totally based upon my conscious control. It seemed that this magnetic pulling at the base of my skull was causing my head to move slowly at first in small circles and eventually in upward and downward motions. If I interacted with it full-on, it would look like I was having a combined clonic and tonic seizure, for sure.
So I don’t know how, but I was aware that an energy was… just coming into my body because of the convulsions I was causing myself to have. I think that this energy could be, possibly, the energy of another soul. I don't claim to know how those things work, though, and I have never had clear answers from my spirit guides on that specific experience still to this day.
When I began doing the convulsions a lot, under the delusion that it would ‘save me’ yet again, I eventually because of my very confused and frightened self at the time, did it right in front of my sister. I know... how could I be that aloof and unaware of my surroundings. It was just how freaked out I was, that I became so focused on my self and didn't seem to udnerstand the consequences of doing something like that in front of another person. Who knows. ANyway, Everyone freaked out in my family and I was taken to the ER, and eventually to my downtown children’s hospital. And this freaked me out even more, because everyone else was freaking out, and panicking like I do, I start doing the convulsions even more, in hopes of saving myself. Also, at this time, I was thinking that a negative extraterrestrial was following me and about to terrorize me any moment, so as it made sense to me, I had to get this other soul into my body and get my soul out of this body and into the spirit world asap. Anyway, when I got to the children’s hospital, after my bout of controllable convulsions, the doctors could find nothing wrong with me and concluded it was a pseudo seizure.
The next morning however, and the main reason as to the idea that I was somehow taking in the energy of another soul, was that when I woke up, I woke up with a fairly thick Slovak-like accent, and a seemingly very bubbly and energetic personality. It only lasted for about 15 minutes, but it felt absolutely wonderful and so light in terms of density, I guess. If you’ve ever heard of Foreign Accent Syndrome, then this is what you might think I’ve got. But this usually occurs when people have strokes, or have severe accidents. All I had was a controllable convulsion based on a magnetic pulling I was feeling in the base of my skull. I never told the doctors that, because I thought they would of course think I was crazy for thinking this had a spiritual explanation.
For example, the magnetic pulling at the base of my skull could have just been my body’s response to the state of anxiety I was in. My psychiatrist’s explanation, under the belief that I had actually had a pseudo seizure, told me that this was my body’s response to my high state of stress, and maybe it is. I just don’t know how the heck I got a Slovak accent and why this seemed to correlate with what the voice was telling me about a walk-in, before I even started making my body convulse. Personally I do believe it was another soul, or maybe I was just channeling a spirit guide in an intense way or something. I at least think it was spiritual in nature, or something like that.
The next experience will maybe give you an indication of just how stressed I really was. This occurrence still happens today, and could have been a month or maybe a few after the supposed pseudo seizures. At night, when my anxiety was particularly high just because of it being dark, I was in the process of genuinely thinking that a negative extraterrestrial was about to teleport into my house at any moment. Then, my dogs, who are downstairs in the garage in their beds, start howling and crying like crazy. The sound of that itself was already scary enough to me, so my fear doubled, and I then was actually thinking that my dogs were picking up the energy of an alien intruder in my house and howling because of it. I thought that because of my fearful vibration, this must have attracted the negative alien to my house. My whole body was practically weak from fear, so it was hard to walk.
Only until after I recovered from my incident with insanity (later on) did I ever think that it was possibly me who was causing my dogs to howl and cry with such intensity. My therapist herself (who wasn't a spiritual one) even suggested to me that my anxiety could have been so much that my dogs were picking up on it and responding to it. So maybe that gives you an idea of how great my anxiety was. They still do this today though, and I cannot say for sure why.
The next experience probably happened around the 4th month out of the seven, so hopefully my estimations of time are correct. So, I believe I was targeted by some sort of technology??? Or maybe it was just tinnitus. I will explain the experience.
One night, when I was riding in my car with my family, I was, as was typical of this period, panicking that something bad would happen to me. I just couldn't let go of it, no matter how much I tried. The panic was in a paradoxical loop. I eventually, and out of no where, heard an extremely high pitched tone enter my mind. At the time I had my eyes closed, and could see this blue color suddenly fill my vision. Along with the high pitched tone, I experienced feeling an intense bout of fear enter my body. It was unnatural in it's making, clearly not created from my own body's reaction. I remember looking around wildly at my family members, to see if they heard it too, but clearly they did not. I was panicking even more. The next thing I know, is that when I look out my window, I see a black triangular craft flying parallel to my car. As I was still discovering spirituality, I had heard of craft that belonged to the ‘secret government’ but really didn’t know what they looked like, so by a guess I assumed that this is what this craft was.
The only thing I didn’t know was why the heck it was there. In fact, I really did not even think to ask that question. All I knew was what I was experiencing, and that I was incredibly scared. The high pitched ringing persisted when I got home. Every time I let my guard down, I experienced hearing the high pitched tone, and a feeling of unnaturally high fear enter my mind and body. It began to twist my mind into thinking that something very bad would happen to me. And through all of this, I failed to realize and to learn that even though it was making me feel things I did not want to feel, those feelings could ultimately not hurt me. I failed to realize that I was not going to die, and that I would still be alright through it all.
Eventually as the high-pitched ringing persisted for me, it came to the point where I was starting to hear different kinds of sounds, other than ringing. I would hear alien creature-like sounds that are very disturbing for me to describe. I heard alien screeching, growling, human screaming, guttural and... I don't know, primal noises that were completely otherworldly and very disturbing to listen to... Just scary and disturbing as hell type of stuff. And all of these sounds seemed to be pin-pointed to locations around my house or coming from my outside surroundings and I would hear them coming from there.
All while this ringing was happening over the months, I still had this black triangular craft follow me around at night. I remember my dad commenting on it on one occasion, so I defninitely wasn't hallucinating it, unless I also hallucinated that my dad commented on it, but I don't believe in the official explanation of what hallucinations are anyway. I don't know how they knew about me and I don't know why they were following me. The only plausible explanation I can think of is that I was emitting a certain vibration that they had technology or psychic skill or whatever available to pick it up somehow. Or my spiritual awakening was being monitored, which could be plausible to some. I do not really know the reason for their presence at that time, but the fact that I was having an internal crisis of some sort and they happen to come around has got to be connected.
One significant event I remembered during this time however, was one night, when I could not sleep because of how scared I was, I remember it must have been 3 a.m. at night. Everybody else in my house was surely asleep. I remember hearing a car pull up and sit and hum on the street in front of my house. At first I didn’t notice it, but I eventually I heard a car door open, and slam shut. In my state of mind, that got my attention, because the car sounded like it was right in front of my house. I heard footsteps walking in the grass of my front lawn. I heard them come closer, and eventually to the sidewalk that goes up to my front door. Then I heard what must of been this mystery person leaning down, as there was a brief pause as they stopped walking. I then heard a distinctive 'beep' as if they have just placed a technology on my house or done something with some sort of technology. They went back to the car. Stayed there for awhile, and then left. I don't know why this happened to me. All this while, I never got up out of my bed to look out of the window onto my front yard. I never did, and I didn't even think to do it. I was paralyzed with fear.
Another experience. Like I have said many times, I was in a high state of stress, and my mind was very unstable. One night my family and I went out to eat at a restaurant. This restaurant had a radio in the front of the room making music where the doorway was, so from my position, from where I was sitting, I could see clearly where this radio was. I don’t know what I was doing exactly, but it’s almost like I could see the sound vibrations coming from the radio. It looked almost like when you see heat waves in the air. I started to focus on the radio because of what I was seeing, and then I could basically see my thoughts or just consciousness interacting with the sound wave, interrupting the stream coming from the radio. From the perspective of just listening to the radio, the volume would literally go up and down again from the interaction of my anxious thoughts. How I know I wasn’t hallucinating, was my mother commented on it and then my whole family noticed that the radio was being turned up and down on the volume, like someone was messing with the dial, even though nobody was standing near it and messing with it.
So maybe somehow whoever was operating the craft and whoever was in that car was monitoring me because of the psychic abilities I was apparently having happen. I do not really know.
I remember far far later in the seven months, sometime after I first saw the black triangular craft, something else happened. I remember sitting on my parents bed, because I did not like to be in places where bad things had happened to me, so this was a new spot. I was clearly traumatized, looking back on my behavior now. There was some sort of craft that flew right over my house, but since I am an hour away from the naval air station, I didn’t think anything of it at first. I heard airplanes and such all the time. As it flew over my roof, I remember hearing a distinctive 'click' though, almost like a camera flashing a picture. I then instantly feel this negative feeling overtake my mind, like my mind is sagging and instantly weighed down by this heavy weight of just negativity. It freaked me out quite a bit, but it only lasted for the day.
Moving on to the near end of the seven months. One night as I am trying to go to sleep, I remember being very freaked out because before I went to bed, I felt this very negative, psychic attack of some kind. It made me think that something bad was going to happen to me, but it was different than the way the high-pitched ringing made me feel this similar way. It didn’t feel like the same, even though it made me think something bad was going to happen. When I try to lay down to sleep, which was very difficult usually because my worrying would just wake me up, I looked at the space between the wall and the end of my bed, and I see (even in my bedroom I had a nightlight, but I couldn’t keep the lights on because my sister and I shared a room during this period in my life) a part of this dark, shadowy figure walk to the right of my room. I remember panicking and trying to ignore the presence of what I thought was one of those shadow beings I recall reading/hearing about. I remember I might have looked up a few more times and seen the shadowy figure again, but I have no idea because my memory at this point is kind of foggy.
ANother thing. I experienced, what I think must have been the very next day, seeing crop circles in my front yard and in the grass everywhere I went. I was also seeing negative alien figures and other things like entities and ‘negative ascended masters’ or something like that being being projected everywhere around me. The figures I saw that I mentioned above were not solid, but looked rather see-through and their shape was fuzzy to me.
Anyway, I will explain how I saw these crop circles in my front lawn. So, I went outside a lot, because I was under the belief that if I was in nature enough, my mind would be spontaneously healed, and I would stop panicking over my life. Well, that's not how the world works apparently, no matter how much I asked. It seemed this was a whole big lesson designed for me, that is all I can come to the conclusion of, no matter how painful it was. It just felt unnecessarily painful though, like why would I ever in all of existence want to experience THAT, that young and with no clue on how to calm down.
Everything about these crop circles were real to me, but even though I could experience them with all my senses, none of my family saw them. I also didn't even think to take any pictures of them. I was too consumed by my being attacked by these entities or whatever it was that I didn't even think to take a picture. I remember seeing different symbols, like the Ankh of life, the cross, other symbols in them, and if I stepped into them I felt an energetic difference, like it was positive for sure, but it is hard to remember. Also, it came to a point where I had seen this fey-type being, who appeared like a dwarf with a beard and all but his skull was in an odd shape, like a bone covered by skin in the shape of a boomerang was going and sloping off the back of his head. It was odd. But still, I could tell this being was positive. He had another being with him behind him, who didn't speak. These beings appeared translucent almost. He asked me, "You need some help, there?" ANd I was just so flabbergasted at him appearing out of nowhere from it seemed to be some sort of portal, if I can recall, and just so baffled that I was seeing an actual non-human being appear to me, that I didn't say anything. He seemed to understand my bafflement and left through a portal after I didn't respond. God, if only I did. I could've had a whole conversation with him. He could've shared so much insight/knowledge. We could've been friends.
Whoever sent those crop circles though did not attempt to reach me telepathically. They have never tried to contact me since, as far as I am aware. I don't know who they were.
If you got through all of that, thank you very much for reading. This was highly personal stuff, and I am a bit nervous to be expressing such a lengthy thing about myself, but I wanted to express it all in its entirety, finally. If you have any thoughts or comments or even advice, I am open to hearing them. Thank you again.
