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Hi everyone!!
I was wondering if this is normal or if anyone else experienced something like this?
Have you ever gotten the spins while talking to your higher self, or praying or meditating?
I am new to all of this and I don't know how to quiet my mind and just see white. I see black and big flashes of light like bright lightening flashes. I tried mediating one time and I did get into a meditation but unfortunately it wasn't a very good experience. I essentially opened myself up without protection. I dealt with the consequences for quite sometime after.
So now I just pray to God, the white light, my higher self, my spirit guides, ArchAngel Michael and my guardian angels. I try to quiet my mind as much as possible I say my normal prayer of gratitude, & thanking for another beautiful day and our health, protection and guidance. Then I went into a deeper very repetitive prayer for my brother in-law who is a narcissist and treats my sister very poorly. I asked for help in enlightening him with the white light of god & helping him see how he treats her hurts and how his actions affect my sister and their young children and the tools to help him change his behavior towards her so they can co parent in harmony. I am trying not to be angry and confrontational with him as my sister feels safer for their young children for his time with them to be under her watch rather than out of her sight. I understand but very hard to witness. I am trying to stay in a higher frequency than for him to continue to be an energy sucker. Their relationship puts a lot of negative energy into our lives as I work so hard to build her back up all the time and he just breaks it down over and over and over. (back story incase this has anything to do with the spins and vision)
Anyway it was very intense. As I got into this deep prayer I started spinning. Spinning fast like when you are really drunk and you get the spins. I kept my eyes closed and prayed harder and saying the light is stronger than the dark. No dark energy is allowed near me or around my family or in my house and property. I was spinning hard & fast. I swear I heard something in my room and was just trying to ignore it. I was saying you don't scare I know the Light will PROTECT ME. Your not welcome here. In between my prayers of him and the strength for my sister and protection for her and the children. Then I got an vision (I usually get what looks like a image on a large tv sometimes just a picture and other times a small clip of something happening) the vision was located on my right front side it was what looked like a missile being sent from the sky to what looked like a desert with large sand dunes and hit the sand dunes and exploded. I was continuously spinning still and refusing to give into opening my eyes & repeating things like that light is stronger than the dark Please protect me and give me strength stuff like that and kept back to my prayer and then eventually I stopped spinning and thank the Light for getting me through and then opened my eyes.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Or read about something similar or any advice.
Thank you.
❤️
I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong Topic Forum
Yes, all my deep meditations end up with a strong spin...I just let it be as hard os soft it is necesary ...sometimes after that I felt super small, like a particle, but my body super big...after all is over you come back to your body. The feeling after is like a complete alignment of all bodies. Congrats!.
Their relationship puts a lot of negative energy into our lives as I work so hard to build her back up all the time and he just breaks it down over and over and over. (back story incase this has anything to do with the spins and vision)
I am concerned that your intent to build your sister "back up" is creating the "need" for your brother in-law to "break it down over and over".
Your sister has a karmic agreement with this frequency - in however this manifests - through your brother-in-law or any other interaction. Until this agreement is fulfilled, the frequency will not shift. The "time" this takes is beyond your control or determination.
While your intentions are altruistic, by influencing the frequency of their interactions, are you interfering with this contract? For the higher you raise your sister's frequency, the higher the fall has to be in order to return to her karmic mission. I understand this is incredible hard to observe your sister in this state but know that through this experience, her evolution will be swift and powerful.
I would suggest to examine why your sister has made this contract and why your brother-in-law has chosen to engage in this frequency. Both sides of drama will allow your heart to expand with compassion and love for all involved.
And know the other as a mirror of yourself. See where the character of the narcissist and the character of the victim exists within you, both in the examination of your past and the awareness of your present moment. Then have compassion of self, for what the mirror is teaching you.
By realising one cannot change the world, only their perception or attitude toward it. And once that is changed that have we not changed the world?
@somebody-else wow! Thank you so much! I do have a lot of guilt in regards to her. In always trying to protect her I definitely felt I dimmed her light of who she was. I was trying to protect her from others hurting her. I didn’t realize I was hurting her in the process. I payed attention to the room and how people were reacting to her comments or behavior and she just wasn’t paying attention and then would get into arguments with people and it created so many struggles in her life. With school, college, and in her career honestly heartbreaking situations. That he likes to throw in her face all the time and I know it hurts her to the core. But since she was younger I would try to calm her and quiet her. She still does that with everyone except for him. I try to build her confidence in those areas she struggled. I put so much time, energy and love into it. And I get nothing in return. But have swallowed it for years, thinking I broke her and ruined her confidence and that the reason for so many of her problems.
Now you saying this actually really confirmed my motives were her to be liked and loved by everyone and not so confrontational, but I didn’t think about the fact if I didn’t step in so much when she was younger maybe she would have learned more from experience when she was younger and know when, where and with who she should have picked those battles and how better to read a room and your audience and now is the time she has to learn for herself. Wow very powerful. Especially by me trying to “quiet” her I built up this wall of resentment that she has for me. By me quieting her. Which at the time was so hard to see people’s reactions to her rolling their eyes walking away from her talking so badly about her and fighting with her. I now call it passionately talking because she would just get really loud and talk very fast and wouldn’t give up talking over people and totally shifting the mood of the conversation. She wasn’t wrong in a lot of what she was saying but I tried getting her to know talking loud and so fast no one can understand you and you don’t take a breath or let anyone else put any input which in turn would start an argument between us half of the time by me pointing those things out. And her defense would already be up and not the way to handle it with her. I have realized I hurt her by us talking about this over the past few years. I have tried to limit my involvement. But never thought about how in turn she needed to experience that to get her through this. I have backed off and only encouraging her in her independence with mom life, career and affirmations and have been avoiding all contact with her husband and not talking about it with her. Hard because we talk multiple times a day but trying.
Wow you really just helped me in opening me up to that and to continue the path I decided on about a week after I posted this.
thank you I will continue to soul search and get to more of the root issues with myself. I know she is strong and will get through this but hate feeling like I can’t help her. I want to be there for her but I feel timing wise it is best I step away. Thank you again!
Love and light to you 🤍💫
@somebody-else ugh this literally just lifted a whole realm for me. I felt so bad before but now I feel so much worse. Was I the narcissist before my brother in law?! By pointing those things out to her I honestly can say it came from experience with watching it with my older brother and I didn’t want that for her. But I was controlling the narrative. 🙁 thinking I was just keeping the peace I actually was trying to control her. which meant I thought I was better than her and made her feel that way.
It’s Funny how we both were jealous of eachother. She wanted friends and to be social and that came easy to me and I wanted to be smart and just get things and not have to work at everything academically and all that came so easy to her. She wanted the happy family (we all do) and stay at home life and I feel so incomplete. I have always said I feel like I’m just exsisting I have no purpose other than talking to people about their feelings but unfortunately couldnt make it a career because I couldn’t even get through one year in college so always feel less than. She has a great career but is being forced to work. And I envy that she has a purpose and great career and so many other things. But I hold just as much resentment for her always playing the victim when we lived in the same house but I didn’t let it all get to me and she uses it as an excuse which would bother me. And in turn I could have been a narcissist to her and never allowing myself to be a victim because I put on a very good front. Or didn’t deal with those emotions I honestly feel like I forgot so much and she’s the one that reminds me of things and my brother telling stories i either don’t remember or tried to be the strong one because I had to. I don’t know my mind is flooded right now! In a good way. I feel horrible and would never tell her how she made me feel because I felt guilty for how I made her feel I didn’t want her to feel worse and then playing the contest game. Because that won’t help anyone. Maybe I never fully acknowledged her being a victim… again with my narcissistic tendencies with her. Just because I was putting things a side doesn’t mean she had to and I shouldn’t hold that against her just because I dont want to use those experiences as something to be a victim. Ughhh I feel horrible.
Thank you again I really needed that little missing link to get my mind in the right direction.
I know she is strong and will get through this but hate feeling like I can’t help her. I want to be there for her but I feel timing wise it is best I step away.
Sometimes the let her be IS actually helping her. Where inaction is indeed an action.
I felt so bad before but now I feel so much worse.
Self-compassion is key. Become the “observer’ of these thoughts and feelings. In doing so, they no longer have power over you, nor should you have power over them.
Emotion is a rollercoaster ride of fluctuating energy. It rises and falls, returning to the natural state of mind. Be with that peace.
She wanted friends and to be social and that came easy to me and I wanted to be smart and just get things and not have to work at everything academically and all that came so easy to her.
In these experiences, it sounds like she was the yin to your yang. In acknowledging and becoming the yin/yang within you, reduces the need to draw in those external interactions.
I have always said I feel like I’m just exsisting I have no purpose other than talking to people about their feelings
Your path is your path and with a clear heart/mind you can navigate its labyrinth with lightness and joy. Your purpose will find you – just give yourself the space to be allowed to see it. One cannot be the teacher without simultaneously being the student. Both too are the yin/yang of the whole expression.
Listen with your heart/mind, observe through consciousness and speak through action. Become the example that inspires the world.
And in turn I could have been a narcissist to her and never allowing myself to be a victim because I put on a very good front.
The middle path is neither being the narcissist nor the victim. These attitudes are different sides of the same coin – where one side of the coin refused to acknowledge the other. Compassion allows you to become the edge of the coin providing a fresh perspective of both.
A change of attitude toward self is all that is needed.